Funnies

The Pair, Celebrated for Their 'Dedication,' Are Now Considering Similar Endeavors to Further Delay Re-Entering the Workforce.

Proponents Laud the Initiative as the Only Logical Next Step in Ensuring a Level Playing Playing Field, with Mandatory Examinations Set to Begin at the Pee-Wee Level.

Academics Hail the Shift as a Monumental Leap for Human Connection, Saving Millions in Awkward Physical Contact.

New Pan-European Study Confirms Avian Intuition for Unacknowledged Female Exhaustion.

Okay, so like, this 'savvy father' just decided to reroute $40,000 meant for his daughters' college into his own 'critical personal growth capital.' Bro, is this some kind of new meta or just straight-up griefing? Because it sounds a lot like someone taking all the rare drops from the raid and then telling the rest of the guild it was for 'team morale initiatives.'

A Groundbreaking Study From the Institute for Aspirational Proximity Studies Reveals That Constant Digital Surveillance of Your Peers Is Now a Key Driver of Economic Growth and Social Stability.

Report Finds Delaying Homeownership Allows for Unprecedented Investment in Premium Silicone Accessories and Low-Commitment Social Contracts.

New Initiative Aims to Boost 'Information Liquidity' by Ensuring No Single Spokesperson Stays Long Enough to Develop a Narrative.

Financial Advisors Grudgingly Admit the 'Spend It All and Die Broke' Model Is Statistically Sound, If Morally Unsettling.

The Neural Network Behind 'Synthetic Horizon' Expressed Pride in Flawlessly Generating a Truly Forgettable Cinematic Experience.

The New Social Media Trend Encourages Followers to Map Out Their Emotional Breakdowns for Maximum Engagement.

Nation's Struggling Consumers Develop Groundbreaking Self-Checkout System.

A Recent Financial Interpretation Redefines 'Investment in Children' to Include Optimizing the Parent's Immediate Happiness.

Concerns Mount That the Sector's "Innovation" Was Primarily Just Venture Capitalists Funding Each Other's Powerpoint Presentations.

A New Report Confirms 'Existing' Has Become a Full-Time Job for the Demographic, Leaving Little Energy for Democratic Engagement.

Experts Confirm State Can’t Fund Public Services by Simply Shaking Down the Dude Who Owns Three Separate Missile Launch Sites.

Analysts Confirm Ballots Will Primarily Serve as a Temperature Check on the Country's Collective Emotional State Regarding One Particular Person.

Court Emphasizes Critical Need to Protect the Unnamed Alleged Abuser's Future Endorsement Deals and Streaming Residuals.

Forward-Thinking Ceos Recognize That Allowing Employees to Commit Fully to Digital Larceny Will Inevitably Translate Into Unparalleled Real-World Corporate Synergy and Focus.